There's a whole heap of shit that has gone down at work but I have another job so I'm hoping things get better.ill write about that another time.
Ill also write about North Korea and the possible invasion ( lol) but what I really want to talk about is something that happend yest.
The title of this rant/writing or whatever this is about is due to the fact I'm turning ginger.Basically I had a hair dye horror at Toni and Guy in Ulsan,that involved highlights that turned came out orange! I actually wrote a complaint letter to the head office at Toni and guy in London and got my money back but still,I'm left with minging hair.
Now,the having no soul part,well I have a married friend here in Korea,his wife being back in the states.we have been friends for a while.We had dinner last night I had a few drinks and after,when he drove me home he tried to kiss me!
For a second I allowed him to kiss me then I ran ( literally) away from the car into my apartment,he followed me I wouldn't open my door and talked to him over mobile.I told him to leave me alone,we should only be friends in groups or not at all.
I never thought I'd do anything like that,I am deeply ashamed.
We are going to meet up and talk about it tonight before meeting our mutual friends.Im hoping things can work out.
Monday, 1 April 2013
Sunday, 3 March 2013
It's been a while
I've been putting off writing because it makes this real
First I stayed in my job as the other job the apartment was a crack den,I'm not joking it didn't even have a bed,I cought up with the other teacher who ran away he said he was there 6 months it never changed.
My job got better but then I got sick.ihad the nitoviris - I managed to get Into work but was sent to hospital by my boss. 2 days off with a sick note
Then I got a bacterial infection.my boss had a meeting where she wants to get rid of me because I'm too sick.an ex Korean staff member told me I was pretty livid.
In 6 months I've had 7 days off through genuine doctor confirmed sickness.
I received a text from my co worker telling me to get into work my boss was going to come to my apartment n let me go basically fire me.
I'm really not sure on what to do here if I get another job that's 2 months which leaves 4 left before contract is up.
Apart from that life in korea is well korea.crazy but im still glad im not in the uk the economy is worse lost the credit rating and jobs are difficult to come by.
im missing my mum,dad friends from home and food god I want a pasty lol.its hard sometimes ESP when I hear my sister is making things hard for them again I just want to tell her to sort her life out.I feel powerless I know if I was at home there would be nothing I could do but still.
I met a guy from England he was interesting we dated both liked each other but he wouldn't sleep with me just wanted to hug with a hard on.thats ok I was understanding but after a while I felt rejected. he wouldn't tell me why just he wasn't ready.i asked if there was anything i could do he said he just wasnt sexual,so I decided to let him go.I won't lie it is slightly damaging to my self esteem as in what's wrong with me?.I can sympathise when you hear stories of men cheating through lack of intamacy.still not right, but being laid there all horny feeling mentally and physically attracted after quite a few great dates n the person says no without a explanation is just confusing and makes you question what is wrong with you.
I've been drinking less which is good,I now feel like I'm in control towards the end of the night n i wont be hungover.
I've met some new friends which is always good, I've been talking more to my friend matt remember who I met at the airport when I was coming here? He's off to New Zealand in 4 months wondering if I should go.i just feel so stressed here now and bit weird.maybe this is that 6 month block people talk about we shall see.
PMDD wise I get so horny before my period I've started watching porn once a day around this time. I sort of feel I wish I didn't makes me feel lonely maybe that's the weird pmdd depression over analysing there I'm not sure.
I've been monitoring the feelings n symptoms,basically the more emotional symptoms I get the depression insecurity the more my sex drive increases,the more physical symptoms I get eg the pain n vomiting the less Horny and depressed I feel.Dont get me wrong, i still feel depressed its just not as intense as in i dont start crying at the drop of a jat seems to be taken over by physical symptoms.
So it's mainly physical or emotional.
I've started wearing glasses most of the time now.had to get new ones n I don't like how they look on me.how vain huh.the glased here are done while you wait on the same day which is amasing.had my eye test then in 30 mins new glasses.
It's getting warmer in korea I'm looking forward to that I can't wait for the summer I like the heat and ill be able to go to the beach
I've started eating and enjoying more Korean food which is good.still can't eat kimchi or octopus.they eat octopus that is alive here too that upsets me.the tentacles stick to the cheeks and tonsils.
Oh totally random but I think my Korean friend who is male-English name jay has a hand fetish he tells me how much he loves my hands and strokes them.i don't mind. having fetishes of my own l,I understand so I let him look at them for a bit.if it gets bad like he tries to suck my fingers or something them ill do something.lol it's funny really makes me laugh.
Other things that have made me smilr on you tube n such the Harlem shake funny and so silly so much better then gangnam style which I'm happy to say is dying finally!
First I stayed in my job as the other job the apartment was a crack den,I'm not joking it didn't even have a bed,I cought up with the other teacher who ran away he said he was there 6 months it never changed.
My job got better but then I got sick.ihad the nitoviris - I managed to get Into work but was sent to hospital by my boss. 2 days off with a sick note
Then I got a bacterial infection.my boss had a meeting where she wants to get rid of me because I'm too sick.an ex Korean staff member told me I was pretty livid.
In 6 months I've had 7 days off through genuine doctor confirmed sickness.
I received a text from my co worker telling me to get into work my boss was going to come to my apartment n let me go basically fire me.
I'm really not sure on what to do here if I get another job that's 2 months which leaves 4 left before contract is up.
Apart from that life in korea is well korea.crazy but im still glad im not in the uk the economy is worse lost the credit rating and jobs are difficult to come by.
im missing my mum,dad friends from home and food god I want a pasty lol.its hard sometimes ESP when I hear my sister is making things hard for them again I just want to tell her to sort her life out.I feel powerless I know if I was at home there would be nothing I could do but still.
I met a guy from England he was interesting we dated both liked each other but he wouldn't sleep with me just wanted to hug with a hard on.thats ok I was understanding but after a while I felt rejected. he wouldn't tell me why just he wasn't ready.i asked if there was anything i could do he said he just wasnt sexual,so I decided to let him go.I won't lie it is slightly damaging to my self esteem as in what's wrong with me?.I can sympathise when you hear stories of men cheating through lack of intamacy.still not right, but being laid there all horny feeling mentally and physically attracted after quite a few great dates n the person says no without a explanation is just confusing and makes you question what is wrong with you.
I've been drinking less which is good,I now feel like I'm in control towards the end of the night n i wont be hungover.
I've met some new friends which is always good, I've been talking more to my friend matt remember who I met at the airport when I was coming here? He's off to New Zealand in 4 months wondering if I should go.i just feel so stressed here now and bit weird.maybe this is that 6 month block people talk about we shall see.
PMDD wise I get so horny before my period I've started watching porn once a day around this time. I sort of feel I wish I didn't makes me feel lonely maybe that's the weird pmdd depression over analysing there I'm not sure.
I've been monitoring the feelings n symptoms,basically the more emotional symptoms I get the depression insecurity the more my sex drive increases,the more physical symptoms I get eg the pain n vomiting the less Horny and depressed I feel.Dont get me wrong, i still feel depressed its just not as intense as in i dont start crying at the drop of a jat seems to be taken over by physical symptoms.
So it's mainly physical or emotional.
I've started wearing glasses most of the time now.had to get new ones n I don't like how they look on me.how vain huh.the glased here are done while you wait on the same day which is amasing.had my eye test then in 30 mins new glasses.
It's getting warmer in korea I'm looking forward to that I can't wait for the summer I like the heat and ill be able to go to the beach
I've started eating and enjoying more Korean food which is good.still can't eat kimchi or octopus.they eat octopus that is alive here too that upsets me.the tentacles stick to the cheeks and tonsils.
Oh totally random but I think my Korean friend who is male-English name jay has a hand fetish he tells me how much he loves my hands and strokes them.i don't mind. having fetishes of my own l,I understand so I let him look at them for a bit.if it gets bad like he tries to suck my fingers or something them ill do something.lol it's funny really makes me laugh.
Other things that have made me smilr on you tube n such the Harlem shake funny and so silly so much better then gangnam style which I'm happy to say is dying finally!
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
Fuck you 2012
I'm having a little bit of a cry as I write this. I'm glad this year is over.I can honestly say it's been one of the most challenging of my life.
The worst parts in no order
Not having a job/having one that was soul sucking
Having to cut my sister off due to her damaging influence
Seeing the effect my sisters behaviour had on my family.
My best friend moving to London
A housemate moving in that was such a control freak my friends didn't want to visit plus was so filthy he attracted mice into the house.
Having a panic attack due to stress,the doctor telling me I was too sick to work.
Having Pre cancer cells in my civix removed -again
Finding out I have PMDD
my auntie dying- horrific
My friend dying- total shock and horrific
My dog dying- bonnie a member of our family for 16 years she will be missed
Moving to korea ( the stress of culture shock and to be honest the fear of arriving,leaving my friends and family)
being used by guys
My ex matt cutting me off while I was in korea.
When paul died and it was his birthday in november.i contacted people who have been there for me at a time when i needed someone.I sent him a email basically saying that.I received one back saying he realises he still loves me and can no longer have me in his life, even as a friend.told me never to contact him again. ( a horrible thing for both of us. as I thought we were great friends,we have a bond that I thought was a true friendship.Now it's no longer there.I feel guilty because I hurt him even though it wasn't intentional.now I feel like he's died too.dramatic I suppose but as I can't talk to him our our mutual friends its a great loss to me as well as him)
Turning 28 and feeling like a looser as I don't have a relationship,house of my own etc
Missing my friends and family while living abroad and feeling lonely.
Overall a general feeling of depression lack of security and loss.
In the spirit of looking forwards.
Highlights
Passing my counselling course,knowing I now have what I need for a masters in counselling.
moving to korea-I needed to make money for my future that's exactly what I'm doing.
meeting a bunch of great people
Realising how lucky I am to have people in my life that are special.
Starting life coaching and knowing I am just a little closer to my goals.
New Year's Eve on the beach watching the first sunrise in korea whilst witnessing hundreds of Koreans running towards the freezing sea swimming to greet the rising sun.
Realising that I am a fighter,if I keep fighting then one day I might just win,if I don't I know I've given it my all,fuck anyone who looks down on me for that,or not having material possessions/ a conventional life.
I hope that 2013 brings something different,after all I will do everything in my power to ensure this happens
So fuck you 2012 you did your worst and I'm still standing.to quote gone with the wind ( a amazing film) "tomorrow is another day"
The worst parts in no order
Not having a job/having one that was soul sucking
Having to cut my sister off due to her damaging influence
Seeing the effect my sisters behaviour had on my family.
My best friend moving to London
A housemate moving in that was such a control freak my friends didn't want to visit plus was so filthy he attracted mice into the house.
Having a panic attack due to stress,the doctor telling me I was too sick to work.
Having Pre cancer cells in my civix removed -again
Finding out I have PMDD
my auntie dying- horrific
My friend dying- total shock and horrific
My dog dying- bonnie a member of our family for 16 years she will be missed
Moving to korea ( the stress of culture shock and to be honest the fear of arriving,leaving my friends and family)
being used by guys
My ex matt cutting me off while I was in korea.
When paul died and it was his birthday in november.i contacted people who have been there for me at a time when i needed someone.I sent him a email basically saying that.I received one back saying he realises he still loves me and can no longer have me in his life, even as a friend.told me never to contact him again. ( a horrible thing for both of us. as I thought we were great friends,we have a bond that I thought was a true friendship.Now it's no longer there.I feel guilty because I hurt him even though it wasn't intentional.now I feel like he's died too.dramatic I suppose but as I can't talk to him our our mutual friends its a great loss to me as well as him)
Turning 28 and feeling like a looser as I don't have a relationship,house of my own etc
Missing my friends and family while living abroad and feeling lonely.
Overall a general feeling of depression lack of security and loss.
In the spirit of looking forwards.
Highlights
Passing my counselling course,knowing I now have what I need for a masters in counselling.
moving to korea-I needed to make money for my future that's exactly what I'm doing.
meeting a bunch of great people
Realising how lucky I am to have people in my life that are special.
Starting life coaching and knowing I am just a little closer to my goals.
New Year's Eve on the beach watching the first sunrise in korea whilst witnessing hundreds of Koreans running towards the freezing sea swimming to greet the rising sun.
Realising that I am a fighter,if I keep fighting then one day I might just win,if I don't I know I've given it my all,fuck anyone who looks down on me for that,or not having material possessions/ a conventional life.
I hope that 2013 brings something different,after all I will do everything in my power to ensure this happens
So fuck you 2012 you did your worst and I'm still standing.to quote gone with the wind ( a amazing film) "tomorrow is another day"
Thursday, 27 December 2012
Update
Been ages since I wrote in this.lots has been happening.
First I've enrolled on a life coaching course in Australia.
second I've handed in my notice at my job and got a new one.This is what happened.
She illegally took and with held 300,000 of my wages after saying she wouldn't.which meant my Christmas vacation to Tokyo was ruined. then she told me my holidays included weekends and public holidays! Then she shouted at me like I was a child for putting the wrong thing in recycling.if she gave me more time between lessons instead of 10 mins 5 in most cases then I wouldn't make such a silly mistake as I have lots to do in that short period of time.
I told her it was illegal what she was doing with the money and holidays she said it wasn't! I told her that I wanted my money back and she said no there was nothing she could do n she did this with every employee including the Koreans.
I told her to check with the labor board and told her that the scam she is pulling about including the weekends is a well known korean scam by hagwon owners as they think they are above the.law. No where in my contract does it state i work weekends,only.monday to friday. Also the reason she calculates to.include the weekends as holiday is to reduce the daily rate from 115k a day to a mere 75k.
I then looked her up online and found Stacy likes to.commit fraud on her employees embezzeling them the tax office and pension aswell. My friend Told me and he knows because he sued them,thats why mr kim lost all his academies and had to sell.them off due to tax pension fraud on his employees and business.
I have been in contact with a lawyer here and reported her to the labor board where each in infringement carries a minimum of 20million won fine.
After all she has done to me,she had the cheek to request an apology letter from me for getting angry with her and asking for my rights as a employee.
I don't think so.I will never apologise for something I haven't done.
Other then that I met a totally hot guy who ticks all my boxes,but he's shy and reluctant to start something as he is leaving in 6 months which is fine.Such a shame tho
Had a good birthday and Christmas.I just miss my friends and family
First I've enrolled on a life coaching course in Australia.
second I've handed in my notice at my job and got a new one.This is what happened.
She illegally took and with held 300,000 of my wages after saying she wouldn't.which meant my Christmas vacation to Tokyo was ruined. then she told me my holidays included weekends and public holidays! Then she shouted at me like I was a child for putting the wrong thing in recycling.if she gave me more time between lessons instead of 10 mins 5 in most cases then I wouldn't make such a silly mistake as I have lots to do in that short period of time.
I told her it was illegal what she was doing with the money and holidays she said it wasn't! I told her that I wanted my money back and she said no there was nothing she could do n she did this with every employee including the Koreans.
I told her to check with the labor board and told her that the scam she is pulling about including the weekends is a well known korean scam by hagwon owners as they think they are above the.law. No where in my contract does it state i work weekends,only.monday to friday. Also the reason she calculates to.include the weekends as holiday is to reduce the daily rate from 115k a day to a mere 75k.
I then looked her up online and found Stacy likes to.commit fraud on her employees embezzeling them the tax office and pension aswell. My friend Told me and he knows because he sued them,thats why mr kim lost all his academies and had to sell.them off due to tax pension fraud on his employees and business.
I have been in contact with a lawyer here and reported her to the labor board where each in infringement carries a minimum of 20million won fine.
After all she has done to me,she had the cheek to request an apology letter from me for getting angry with her and asking for my rights as a employee.
I don't think so.I will never apologise for something I haven't done.
Other then that I met a totally hot guy who ticks all my boxes,but he's shy and reluctant to start something as he is leaving in 6 months which is fine.Such a shame tho
Had a good birthday and Christmas.I just miss my friends and family
Sunday, 2 December 2012
Homesickness
I had a great weekend.I went out with Ben and my Korean friend.Went to a Chinese restaurant Korean style of course :)
went to a bar called JJs was benchwarmers.tons of foreigners in there.Met this guy from London who has the same birthday as me small world huh? So we were talking about London and such, Sunday came,I did my usual which is cleaning the apartment and doing my washing.
I put music on just as I would at home,little dragon came on.A woosh of memories suddenly had the first major homesickness since coming here.I miss my friends massively.Cruz in particular,we used to live together I just wanted to go to his room chill out maybe have a spliff.
It's so annoying that I can't smoke in Korea,it's the time when I need it the most.
So I laid on my bed closed my eyes and imagined how my room used to look.
my throws from Camden market on my walls,my candles lit,incense burning looking at my photos,and art prints,Escher Dali giger,my books My little cactus plants,glitter lamp making pretty patterns on the wall,my lap with a pink piece of material over the top,to me a real chilled out kick ass atmosphere.
Me and Cruz would smoke a spliff listen to jeff Buckley little dragon war paint fink etc just talk about anything.I really miss that connection.I miss my room,I miss cooking..oh how I miss cooking.Every Sunday I'd do a roast.
Roast chicken,vegetables,mash potato cheesy,roast potatoes,Yorkshire pudding.
For desert I'd bake a pie or rice pudding.
I'm going to miss my family friends and cooking so much at Christmas.I wish I could go home for a visit but it's not going to happen.i only get Xmas day off then 5 days at new year.
Well in the plus in 2 weeks I will have done 3 months.Im still debating wether to do this life coaching course for oz I think I should I could use it anywhere in the world most counsolers cvs have life coaching on there I think it's a good thing to do to show I've been doing something with my time other then just living abroad.
I'm 28 in a few days n Im going to feel weird on that day.ill be glad when this year is over.I think I can honestly say this year has been one of the most challenging of my life.My friend dying,then my auntie dying,having no money,living with a complete slob and his kid who he moved in,he was so dirty he attracted mice! my sister being so fucked in the head i had to cut off from her,moving to Korea,finding out I have PMDD,add to that bad dates and meeting wanker guys
Actually PMDD time is now,fuck this explains the mood.I should focus on positives.I can do life coaching course while saving to do a course.I can start applying in the new year.My life now has options one of them doing a masters in something I am very passionate about,or travel plans to audtralia even if I can't afford to study there I can still get a visa and try to work as a life coach or another job.
I have met some great people here and I'm starting to feel like I have some pretty good qualities I heard a Irish girl and a few guys talking about me before I made my presence known.they said how sweet and genuine I am.At home I try to not show how nice I am straight away.reason being I've been walked over not treated with respect and generally thought less of. as though beingnice is a weakness.
went to a bar called JJs was benchwarmers.tons of foreigners in there.Met this guy from London who has the same birthday as me small world huh? So we were talking about London and such, Sunday came,I did my usual which is cleaning the apartment and doing my washing.
I put music on just as I would at home,little dragon came on.A woosh of memories suddenly had the first major homesickness since coming here.I miss my friends massively.Cruz in particular,we used to live together I just wanted to go to his room chill out maybe have a spliff.
It's so annoying that I can't smoke in Korea,it's the time when I need it the most.
So I laid on my bed closed my eyes and imagined how my room used to look.
my throws from Camden market on my walls,my candles lit,incense burning looking at my photos,and art prints,Escher Dali giger,my books My little cactus plants,glitter lamp making pretty patterns on the wall,my lap with a pink piece of material over the top,to me a real chilled out kick ass atmosphere.
Me and Cruz would smoke a spliff listen to jeff Buckley little dragon war paint fink etc just talk about anything.I really miss that connection.I miss my room,I miss cooking..oh how I miss cooking.Every Sunday I'd do a roast.
Roast chicken,vegetables,mash potato cheesy,roast potatoes,Yorkshire pudding.
For desert I'd bake a pie or rice pudding.
I'm going to miss my family friends and cooking so much at Christmas.I wish I could go home for a visit but it's not going to happen.i only get Xmas day off then 5 days at new year.
Well in the plus in 2 weeks I will have done 3 months.Im still debating wether to do this life coaching course for oz I think I should I could use it anywhere in the world most counsolers cvs have life coaching on there I think it's a good thing to do to show I've been doing something with my time other then just living abroad.
I'm 28 in a few days n Im going to feel weird on that day.ill be glad when this year is over.I think I can honestly say this year has been one of the most challenging of my life.My friend dying,then my auntie dying,having no money,living with a complete slob and his kid who he moved in,he was so dirty he attracted mice! my sister being so fucked in the head i had to cut off from her,moving to Korea,finding out I have PMDD,add to that bad dates and meeting wanker guys
Actually PMDD time is now,fuck this explains the mood.I should focus on positives.I can do life coaching course while saving to do a course.I can start applying in the new year.My life now has options one of them doing a masters in something I am very passionate about,or travel plans to audtralia even if I can't afford to study there I can still get a visa and try to work as a life coach or another job.
I have met some great people here and I'm starting to feel like I have some pretty good qualities I heard a Irish girl and a few guys talking about me before I made my presence known.they said how sweet and genuine I am.At home I try to not show how nice I am straight away.reason being I've been walked over not treated with respect and generally thought less of. as though beingnice is a weakness.
Saturday, 24 November 2012
Underwater bedroom!
I've just got back from Karaoke room great fun. You hire out a room,get beer and snacks n just sing ( badly in my case) to your favorite songs. They have tons of cool lighting tambourines n stuff. good times.
had a pretty cool night all round.started off went out for dinner, ended up at Bennigans a restaurant that has now closed in America,however made it over to Korea and is thriving? anyway.I had my steak.. oooh how I've missed steak.. medium rare with potato,felt so good . Ben my American friend almost came in his pants when he saw a Monte Cristo( my dyslexic brain cant figure out how to spell at this hour) on the menu! being British, I had no idea what it was.
Basically a fried sandwich, having tasted the delights of a fried mars bar,my curiosity was sparked,I watched it come out in all its fatty glory,my friend unable to contain the excitement.He looked like a kid at Christmas... bless.I sampled it just before my food arrived. tastes sweet,fatty and oh so good. I couldn't manage more then two but defiantly have it again.
Im home now, its 6 am, the good thing about korea everything opens till stupid oclock,I like it, allows you to be spontaneous, want to buy something at 10pm no problem,also gives different options other then clubbing.
I'm in my apartment now, just wacked the heating on ( so cold here I have to layer when venturing outside yet the cold still penetrates,consequently my apartment is a ice box. lucky I have underfloor heating) sat here in my many layers while I wait for it to thaw, Im I looking at my friends from home face book page.Des from college has posted this underwater hotel room. Oh my fucking god I want to go there! its in Fiji, just imagining the sharks swimming past,all the other wicked creatures,what an experience, the slight downside is lack of sleep, assuming I was with a partner, the time would be taken up with amasing sex talking and taking in the beauty.
I used to want a honeymoon in Italy, or a romantic trip there, now I want this, followed by diving,and paragliding..I imagine figi is simply breathtaking.. lol,chances are slim to non,but I can dream... :D www.poseidonresorts.com/ ......ahhh yes please
had a pretty cool night all round.started off went out for dinner, ended up at Bennigans a restaurant that has now closed in America,however made it over to Korea and is thriving? anyway.I had my steak.. oooh how I've missed steak.. medium rare with potato,felt so good . Ben my American friend almost came in his pants when he saw a Monte Cristo( my dyslexic brain cant figure out how to spell at this hour) on the menu! being British, I had no idea what it was.
Basically a fried sandwich, having tasted the delights of a fried mars bar,my curiosity was sparked,I watched it come out in all its fatty glory,my friend unable to contain the excitement.He looked like a kid at Christmas... bless.I sampled it just before my food arrived. tastes sweet,fatty and oh so good. I couldn't manage more then two but defiantly have it again.
Im home now, its 6 am, the good thing about korea everything opens till stupid oclock,I like it, allows you to be spontaneous, want to buy something at 10pm no problem,also gives different options other then clubbing.
I'm in my apartment now, just wacked the heating on ( so cold here I have to layer when venturing outside yet the cold still penetrates,consequently my apartment is a ice box. lucky I have underfloor heating) sat here in my many layers while I wait for it to thaw, Im I looking at my friends from home face book page.Des from college has posted this underwater hotel room. Oh my fucking god I want to go there! its in Fiji, just imagining the sharks swimming past,all the other wicked creatures,what an experience, the slight downside is lack of sleep, assuming I was with a partner, the time would be taken up with amasing sex talking and taking in the beauty.
I used to want a honeymoon in Italy, or a romantic trip there, now I want this, followed by diving,and paragliding..I imagine figi is simply breathtaking.. lol,chances are slim to non,but I can dream... :D www.poseidonresorts.com/ ......ahhh yes please
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
face hugger
I feel the need to write about this night terror I had.
it happened around 4am. I was having a nightmare about the face hugger from alien, I woke up and saw it on my bed next to me! I freaked out, frozen in fear,I couldn't even scream.
I managed to move after a few minuets,rolled myself on to the floor and woke myself up properly. I felt relief, then suddenly very alone.I put the laptop on and watched some adult swim. I dont know what happend but I started to cry...crying and watching cartoons how sad.
I just wanted another person there who understood. I remember when this used to happen in relationships. Id try not to wake them, sometimes if it was really bad, such as this with the face huger episode, id roll over and hug my boyfriend.they used to moan though as I get so warm it would wake them up.
anyway, so yeah,back to the tears watching cartoons. miles away from my friends and parents, the recent date disaster, the fact Ive been single over 2 years, thoughts such as will I ever find someone who can put up with these weird night terrors or understands? coupled with the PMDD is it really too much to ask of someone? on a PMDD day it would be mood swings,lots of sex and then potentially being woken up at night by me dreaming then seeing something fucked up. Why have that when you can have a normal girlfriend with a regular sex drive, their worst sleep issue would be drool?.
I used to feel so bad just laid there with my partner next me waiting for my mind to let me sleep. worried that my body heat might wake them and partly feeling guilty that I didn't like how I couldn't hug them.
id sometimes wish I was actually alone, or that my partner understood so it would be ok to go downstairs and watch tv or get a comforting hug without feeling guilt. In saying all that id prefer that odd mix of emotions then have that nothingness.
I got to sleep at 6 am. I was up again at 9. I didnt have the best quality of sleep and my eyes felt puffy from the tears.
I think this highlights that I feel stressed, the night terrors seem to come about when theres some unrest somewhere in my life, even if its just sleeping somewhere new,that seems to trigger it too.
also highlights that i'm feeling lonely, left behind. Another one of my friends got married,my friend Sarah is buying a house with her boyfriend its all strange.
yet I know that I have time, I don't want to rush anything,rationally theres a world of opportunity I cant help but feel this way.
I had to get a teddy picture of the face hugger,looking at the real one was just too freaky. why the fuck would you buy this as a cuddly toy?
it happened around 4am. I was having a nightmare about the face hugger from alien, I woke up and saw it on my bed next to me! I freaked out, frozen in fear,I couldn't even scream.
I managed to move after a few minuets,rolled myself on to the floor and woke myself up properly. I felt relief, then suddenly very alone.I put the laptop on and watched some adult swim. I dont know what happend but I started to cry...crying and watching cartoons how sad.
I just wanted another person there who understood. I remember when this used to happen in relationships. Id try not to wake them, sometimes if it was really bad, such as this with the face huger episode, id roll over and hug my boyfriend.they used to moan though as I get so warm it would wake them up.
anyway, so yeah,back to the tears watching cartoons. miles away from my friends and parents, the recent date disaster, the fact Ive been single over 2 years, thoughts such as will I ever find someone who can put up with these weird night terrors or understands? coupled with the PMDD is it really too much to ask of someone? on a PMDD day it would be mood swings,lots of sex and then potentially being woken up at night by me dreaming then seeing something fucked up. Why have that when you can have a normal girlfriend with a regular sex drive, their worst sleep issue would be drool?.
I used to feel so bad just laid there with my partner next me waiting for my mind to let me sleep. worried that my body heat might wake them and partly feeling guilty that I didn't like how I couldn't hug them.
id sometimes wish I was actually alone, or that my partner understood so it would be ok to go downstairs and watch tv or get a comforting hug without feeling guilt. In saying all that id prefer that odd mix of emotions then have that nothingness.
I got to sleep at 6 am. I was up again at 9. I didnt have the best quality of sleep and my eyes felt puffy from the tears.
I think this highlights that I feel stressed, the night terrors seem to come about when theres some unrest somewhere in my life, even if its just sleeping somewhere new,that seems to trigger it too.
also highlights that i'm feeling lonely, left behind. Another one of my friends got married,my friend Sarah is buying a house with her boyfriend its all strange.
yet I know that I have time, I don't want to rush anything,rationally theres a world of opportunity I cant help but feel this way.
Tuesday, 13 November 2012
Where to study the US or Australia
Right this has been on my mind recently.
I do not wish to return to the UK.I cannot see my future there.So where can I see myself? The states or oz.
The problem is which do I choose? both are expensive,oz being cheaper,and has better weather however America has the best education,at least id be guaranteed to have a degree that was world class.
Other things to take into consideration career prospects,earning potential,the countries economy,crime,lifestyle,where are the best schools for possible future family how easy it is for my parents to get there and potentially make them citizens of that country too.
I've sort of decided on location for both countries.which makes it easier.
Brisbane because its cheaper then sydney,has good schools,the standard of living seems high I like it has a beach n a good music scene.
Washington DC,it's the capital,the most powerful city on earth.prob has the best earning potential( need to research) ,has some great universities if any city is going to recover from the recession quickly I believe it's DC.
I kind of know people there.knowing people seems like such a tiny thing,but my experience of living in Korea and knowing no one,it really helps to have some contacts when you move abroad,no matter how independent,friendly etc you are those first few months are tough.having a friendly face show you round introduce you to decent people is always good However,I realise this isn't a major factor,just a nice plus.
I spoke to my parents,they don't mind where I go as long as I'm happy and there is chance of a career at the end of graduation.
I need to get cracking on this if I'm going to get a place next year.
Maybe making lists will help.
I do not wish to return to the UK.I cannot see my future there.So where can I see myself? The states or oz.
The problem is which do I choose? both are expensive,oz being cheaper,and has better weather however America has the best education,at least id be guaranteed to have a degree that was world class.
Other things to take into consideration career prospects,earning potential,the countries economy,crime,lifestyle,where are the best schools for possible future family how easy it is for my parents to get there and potentially make them citizens of that country too.
I've sort of decided on location for both countries.which makes it easier.
Brisbane because its cheaper then sydney,has good schools,the standard of living seems high I like it has a beach n a good music scene.
Washington DC,it's the capital,the most powerful city on earth.prob has the best earning potential( need to research) ,has some great universities if any city is going to recover from the recession quickly I believe it's DC.
I kind of know people there.knowing people seems like such a tiny thing,but my experience of living in Korea and knowing no one,it really helps to have some contacts when you move abroad,no matter how independent,friendly etc you are those first few months are tough.having a friendly face show you round introduce you to decent people is always good However,I realise this isn't a major factor,just a nice plus.
I spoke to my parents,they don't mind where I go as long as I'm happy and there is chance of a career at the end of graduation.
I need to get cracking on this if I'm going to get a place next year.
Maybe making lists will help.
Saturday, 3 November 2012
Laringitis
Yeah I've had it for two weeks still been going to work.I eventually went to the hospital on the 3rd in ok dong and got a ton of meds.ill upload a pic when I can.I take them 3 times a day with food for 3 days then I go back to the hospital.
I can't talk feel like death.I'm going in early on Monday to ask for the day off as I'm In so ill.
I can't talk feel like death.I'm going in early on Monday to ask for the day off as I'm In so ill.
Thursday, 1 November 2012
More work stress
So the 1st every month I get paid.I was paid yest.I didn't receive a copy of my way slip.instead inbetween lessons I was taken into a room and shown it,told to sign to say I'd seen it.i wish I hadn't done that now.i think she will use it to say that everything was ok when it was literally to say I'd seen it i didn't have time to digest it.
Pension is massively expensive.she told me I would get it back when I leave.this is incorrect.she also said I should give her 50000 won ( £27) in cash for maintenance fees on my apartment.when i asked if it was deductible from my wages she said no! it wasn't on my wage slip,but it was in my contract I have to pay it,so feeling under pressure I did.today I'm expecting a receipt from her.and a copy of my wage slip.
She also said " I'm not charging you 30000 won every month because I trust you won't leave" yeah maybe the fact it's illegal has something to do with it!
Also she mentioned a little boy I tutor jake.I love jake,such a sweet clever child.I tutor him one to one at the accademy.he likes me too he mentioned me to his friend :) his homeroom teacher said he talks about me aww.
Anyway he has a shorter tongue so can't pronounce S l and t sounds.Its physically not possible.So we work through the book taking that into account.
Stacey listened to my lesson outside.heard he wasn't saying his "s" and came into the room made him say the word "books" over and over till she was satisfied he said s.she then told me to correct him!
After I told his homeroom teacher what happened she said she understood,and confirmed he did have the speech issue.
What a horrible thing to do to a shy sweet boy.he has it hard enough as it is.
Stacey told me yest that I need to correct students straight away i always do! and sighted jake as a example.I told her she was wrong,that jake has a speech problem.she said it could be corrected n it was my job to do so!.she said I needed to have more confidence when teaching!.A shorter tongue cannot be corrected. I have confidence! When my lesson was observed the 2nd week I got flying colours! I told her she could observe a lesson if she wants.
There's also a child in my older group who last lesson told me to "fuck you" I sent him to Stacey.
She told me he was a very sensitive child I should try with him.I did as I do with all the kids. in that lesson,I told him to stop banging on the wall,he did it again,told him to stand up.he didn't listen then started speaking Korean to the other students.I told him to stop speaking Korean and listen he then said fuck you.
This lesson,I enter the room he's got his head on the desk.I take his hood down and make him sit up.
Telling him to pay attention and listen.he became angry and disruptive.knowing Stacey prefers these issues sorted in class,
I opted to take a different tactic and ignored his attempt for attention continuing the lesson for those who wanted to learn.this annoyed him.he sulked the rest of the class,but answered questions when I asked.so he knew the material.
he then complained to Stacey that my lesson was boring and I looked tired.
He told me that he couldn't understand me and was going to call his mother telling her so.Complete lies.
Today is Friday I work 3-10 with 25 min break. I'm just glad it's The weekend.
I feel really ill today I looked at the back of my throat with a torch I have spots on my tonsils and white bits.I have 3 days paid sick leave.Im trying not to take any time off.I hope this eases during the day.
Pension is massively expensive.she told me I would get it back when I leave.this is incorrect.she also said I should give her 50000 won ( £27) in cash for maintenance fees on my apartment.when i asked if it was deductible from my wages she said no! it wasn't on my wage slip,but it was in my contract I have to pay it,so feeling under pressure I did.today I'm expecting a receipt from her.and a copy of my wage slip.
She also said " I'm not charging you 30000 won every month because I trust you won't leave" yeah maybe the fact it's illegal has something to do with it!
Also she mentioned a little boy I tutor jake.I love jake,such a sweet clever child.I tutor him one to one at the accademy.he likes me too he mentioned me to his friend :) his homeroom teacher said he talks about me aww.
Anyway he has a shorter tongue so can't pronounce S l and t sounds.Its physically not possible.So we work through the book taking that into account.
Stacey listened to my lesson outside.heard he wasn't saying his "s" and came into the room made him say the word "books" over and over till she was satisfied he said s.she then told me to correct him!
After I told his homeroom teacher what happened she said she understood,and confirmed he did have the speech issue.
What a horrible thing to do to a shy sweet boy.he has it hard enough as it is.
Stacey told me yest that I need to correct students straight away i always do! and sighted jake as a example.I told her she was wrong,that jake has a speech problem.she said it could be corrected n it was my job to do so!.she said I needed to have more confidence when teaching!.A shorter tongue cannot be corrected. I have confidence! When my lesson was observed the 2nd week I got flying colours! I told her she could observe a lesson if she wants.
There's also a child in my older group who last lesson told me to "fuck you" I sent him to Stacey.
She told me he was a very sensitive child I should try with him.I did as I do with all the kids. in that lesson,I told him to stop banging on the wall,he did it again,told him to stand up.he didn't listen then started speaking Korean to the other students.I told him to stop speaking Korean and listen he then said fuck you.
This lesson,I enter the room he's got his head on the desk.I take his hood down and make him sit up.
Telling him to pay attention and listen.he became angry and disruptive.knowing Stacey prefers these issues sorted in class,
I opted to take a different tactic and ignored his attempt for attention continuing the lesson for those who wanted to learn.this annoyed him.he sulked the rest of the class,but answered questions when I asked.so he knew the material.
he then complained to Stacey that my lesson was boring and I looked tired.
He told me that he couldn't understand me and was going to call his mother telling her so.Complete lies.
Today is Friday I work 3-10 with 25 min break. I'm just glad it's The weekend.
I feel really ill today I looked at the back of my throat with a torch I have spots on my tonsils and white bits.I have 3 days paid sick leave.Im trying not to take any time off.I hope this eases during the day.
Sunday, 28 October 2012
Work stress/weekend
More crap happened this week, wed basically me and lee the new teacher were told the kids are complaining over our British accents.
She said they don't understand us and want American accents! Then she started saying she couldn't understand us when we were in her car driving to process lees ARC card.
She understood us perfectly when she hired us.
As I pointed out the younger kids seem to understand so why don't the older ones? She suggested we talk more slowly which if I talk anymore slowly the kids will think I'm retarded.
So I tested the theory. every class I had I talked so slow the kids looked at me like I was a alien.i also said if you cannot understand me please say so.they said we understand you fine.
She also said on Friday before we left, we were required to put a deposit of 3000 won each month I am not doing this it wasn't in the contract they cannot force me to do so.She said she couldn't pay me in cash and she wasnt going to help me open a korean bank account.not what she said on the first day.
She said my health insurance wasn't valid until my first pay.which is rubbish I have my arc card now I can go to the doctors tomorrow n have it discounted.
I had to work through my so called dinner as I had to mark the Korean teachers homework diaries and give online essays to my classes.two days running I didn't have time to eat.when are we meant to fit this extra work in? If she wants us to come in early I want over time.
I'm having a meeting with her tomorrow and I'm going to be honest about the whole thing.
- does she want us there? the kids are complaining I can't do anymore then I'm already doing.we weren't given any observation time,literally given a book n said teach.she admitted we were meant to have 2 days observing but because our visas were late through no fault of our own we didn't get it.
- I am not giving this money every month.she cannot force me
- my insurance is valid with a arc card.
- if the kids want an American teacher then ill look for another job,I am not teaching children who don't want to learn from me,what suggestions does she have to solve the problem,other then talking in a American accent.
Other then that I took a taxi and experienced my first racism from a Korean.
when koreans make these clicking sounds,it's a major sign of disrespect.I started clicking back.he didn't like it.dropped me off was very tense atmosphere. I didn't even say thank you in Korean and slammed the door.he tried to charge me extra by taking me the long way round.
On the weekend I got hammered.had a pretty cool time in purple haze Halloween party,then to a nurobong karaoke bar where me n some others from the bar sang.i sang to zeppelin the cure and a few others.bonded with this guy with a Afro from Russia haha
sat went out to a traditional Korean restaurant had these rice paper dumpling things.
Basically you get all theses veggies n meat.cook it in a big pot in the middle of the table,then you get your rice paper,dip it in warm water,then spoon the ingredients into the middle n fold.
It's then made into a soup through adding noodles with the juices,and then rice pudding.
Was pretty cool only cost me £6.im not a huge fan of Korean food but it was kinda tasty,healthy and a different experience.
After we went to cimas Halloween party but there was no one there.so we went to a pub called benches,it was closing so it was 30,000 won all you can drink.its a shame I liked their food and was a nice atmosphere.
Played darts too Boys vs girls we won :D 4-2 by some fluke I got a triple 20 and a bullseye.
I was pretty happy benches were getting rid of all their books.I now have some in my apartment yes! picked up spirituality for atheists,Oliver twist,othello,the structure of scientific revolutions,a fantasy book entitled beyond the valley of thrones I thought I could read it with the kids.
other stuff- that Korean guy has left me alone.the American guy matt is a total twat.
long story short I needed somewhere to crash he said yes, then when I was on my way to his house said no told me to stay in a hotel! I had to crash at a strangers house.
Then he said I got too attached! I don't think so! if anything I was reserved didn't want to get attached to someone who was leaving.I was quite happy with living in the moment. anyway
I received a grovelling apology via email as I blocked him on fb n kakao,saying he just got scared because he liked me n didn't know what to do about it.
I just told him to forget it n leave me alone.
I really do have bad judgement when it comes to guys.
She said they don't understand us and want American accents! Then she started saying she couldn't understand us when we were in her car driving to process lees ARC card.
She understood us perfectly when she hired us.
As I pointed out the younger kids seem to understand so why don't the older ones? She suggested we talk more slowly which if I talk anymore slowly the kids will think I'm retarded.
So I tested the theory. every class I had I talked so slow the kids looked at me like I was a alien.i also said if you cannot understand me please say so.they said we understand you fine.
She also said on Friday before we left, we were required to put a deposit of 3000 won each month I am not doing this it wasn't in the contract they cannot force me to do so.She said she couldn't pay me in cash and she wasnt going to help me open a korean bank account.not what she said on the first day.
She said my health insurance wasn't valid until my first pay.which is rubbish I have my arc card now I can go to the doctors tomorrow n have it discounted.
I had to work through my so called dinner as I had to mark the Korean teachers homework diaries and give online essays to my classes.two days running I didn't have time to eat.when are we meant to fit this extra work in? If she wants us to come in early I want over time.
I'm having a meeting with her tomorrow and I'm going to be honest about the whole thing.
- does she want us there? the kids are complaining I can't do anymore then I'm already doing.we weren't given any observation time,literally given a book n said teach.she admitted we were meant to have 2 days observing but because our visas were late through no fault of our own we didn't get it.
- I am not giving this money every month.she cannot force me
- my insurance is valid with a arc card.
- if the kids want an American teacher then ill look for another job,I am not teaching children who don't want to learn from me,what suggestions does she have to solve the problem,other then talking in a American accent.
Other then that I took a taxi and experienced my first racism from a Korean.
when koreans make these clicking sounds,it's a major sign of disrespect.I started clicking back.he didn't like it.dropped me off was very tense atmosphere. I didn't even say thank you in Korean and slammed the door.he tried to charge me extra by taking me the long way round.
On the weekend I got hammered.had a pretty cool time in purple haze Halloween party,then to a nurobong karaoke bar where me n some others from the bar sang.i sang to zeppelin the cure and a few others.bonded with this guy with a Afro from Russia haha
sat went out to a traditional Korean restaurant had these rice paper dumpling things.
Basically you get all theses veggies n meat.cook it in a big pot in the middle of the table,then you get your rice paper,dip it in warm water,then spoon the ingredients into the middle n fold.
It's then made into a soup through adding noodles with the juices,and then rice pudding.
Was pretty cool only cost me £6.im not a huge fan of Korean food but it was kinda tasty,healthy and a different experience.
After we went to cimas Halloween party but there was no one there.so we went to a pub called benches,it was closing so it was 30,000 won all you can drink.its a shame I liked their food and was a nice atmosphere.
Played darts too Boys vs girls we won :D 4-2 by some fluke I got a triple 20 and a bullseye.
I was pretty happy benches were getting rid of all their books.I now have some in my apartment yes! picked up spirituality for atheists,Oliver twist,othello,the structure of scientific revolutions,a fantasy book entitled beyond the valley of thrones I thought I could read it with the kids.
other stuff- that Korean guy has left me alone.the American guy matt is a total twat.
long story short I needed somewhere to crash he said yes, then when I was on my way to his house said no told me to stay in a hotel! I had to crash at a strangers house.
Then he said I got too attached! I don't think so! if anything I was reserved didn't want to get attached to someone who was leaving.I was quite happy with living in the moment. anyway
I received a grovelling apology via email as I blocked him on fb n kakao,saying he just got scared because he liked me n didn't know what to do about it.
I just told him to forget it n leave me alone.
I really do have bad judgement when it comes to guys.
Monday, 22 October 2012
4th week in Ulsan
I think I'm getting better at my job,I'm not sure though.The kids seem to like me.I heard the director saying I was a popular teacher so that's got to be a good thing.
I've had some strange comments from the kids.One kid said I looked like a mouse?! And another who said my eyes were "sooo big" she came right up to my face to get a close look.
the new teacher is here.the building owner didn't give him any bedding,towels or Internet.its pretty harsh.
We went to lotte mart the next day.that was a experience theres everything you need.its your typical supermarket ,but there is no organisation.took us ages to find Lee some shaving foam,30 minuets I believe.
There's this Korea guy I've been hanging our with on Friday nights after work.
i thought it was cool I had a Korean friend.after all I'm in Korea right? We went out on Friday,met the two people I went on a scavenger hunt had a pretty good time.35000 won for all you can eat pizza and beer. get in.
The thing about the foreigner community here is that everyone knows everyonelse,I sorta feel like the new kid at school.its all very clicky.I hated it the first time round.Suppose ill just find actual adults here at some point.
You see all the same faces too.Its a very transient place so I imagine as time passes faces will change etc.
4am on the way home Korean guy starts trying to hold my hand.
I totally freak out.I only hold hands with guys I'm in a relationship with.to me it's a very intimate thing to do ESP in public.its weird that I could have sex with someone I'm dating but I only hold hands when I'm in love.
I told him I wasn't interested and got into my apartment as soon as possible.
I do feel disappointed all I'm looking for is a friend.
Seems a lot of Korean guys try it on or are just creepy.
my dog bonnie from home passed away on Sunday.i do feel pretty upset.She was a part of our family for 16 years.
She was a rescue pup.my dad was coming home from band practice,he saw her collarless, running up to strangers in the street looking lost malnourished.
He brought her home for a feed.after she had a good sleep,we advertised her as missing,put her in temp housing for stray dogs.made sure she was healthy and looked after.
After two weeks we got a call saying no one had claimed her,if we wanted we could have her. otherwise she would be passed on to the relevant authorities where they would try house her,put another search out for owners i in 2 weeks she would have to be put down :(
She came home.she was so playful,loving and full of wonder :).
My Bon Bon,as I called her,has been with us through good times and bad.
many lovely christmas day walks even though she was lazy she loved it when she eventually got going,her little legs carrying her fat body,lol I remember when we realised she was eating the cats food as well as her own.she went on weight watchers for dogs :)
she had a good life,I will never forget her.mum and dad are pretty upset too.they say flossy,our cat misses her.they were friends.flossy would rub herself on bonnie ( when cats do this they are saying hello,marking you with their scent saying your mine lol) purr and often sleep in the same bed.
I'm still experiencing culture shock.it comes in waves.Im getting better at handling it,just reminding myself its totally normal,it should get better.
Im worried next week will be PMDD time.
I've had some strange comments from the kids.One kid said I looked like a mouse?! And another who said my eyes were "sooo big" she came right up to my face to get a close look.
the new teacher is here.the building owner didn't give him any bedding,towels or Internet.its pretty harsh.
We went to lotte mart the next day.that was a experience theres everything you need.its your typical supermarket ,but there is no organisation.took us ages to find Lee some shaving foam,30 minuets I believe.
There's this Korea guy I've been hanging our with on Friday nights after work.
i thought it was cool I had a Korean friend.after all I'm in Korea right? We went out on Friday,met the two people I went on a scavenger hunt had a pretty good time.35000 won for all you can eat pizza and beer. get in.
The thing about the foreigner community here is that everyone knows everyonelse,I sorta feel like the new kid at school.its all very clicky.I hated it the first time round.Suppose ill just find actual adults here at some point.
You see all the same faces too.Its a very transient place so I imagine as time passes faces will change etc.
4am on the way home Korean guy starts trying to hold my hand.
I totally freak out.I only hold hands with guys I'm in a relationship with.to me it's a very intimate thing to do ESP in public.its weird that I could have sex with someone I'm dating but I only hold hands when I'm in love.
I told him I wasn't interested and got into my apartment as soon as possible.
I do feel disappointed all I'm looking for is a friend.
Seems a lot of Korean guys try it on or are just creepy.
my dog bonnie from home passed away on Sunday.i do feel pretty upset.She was a part of our family for 16 years.
She was a rescue pup.my dad was coming home from band practice,he saw her collarless, running up to strangers in the street looking lost malnourished.
He brought her home for a feed.after she had a good sleep,we advertised her as missing,put her in temp housing for stray dogs.made sure she was healthy and looked after.
After two weeks we got a call saying no one had claimed her,if we wanted we could have her. otherwise she would be passed on to the relevant authorities where they would try house her,put another search out for owners i in 2 weeks she would have to be put down :(
She came home.she was so playful,loving and full of wonder :).
My Bon Bon,as I called her,has been with us through good times and bad.
many lovely christmas day walks even though she was lazy she loved it when she eventually got going,her little legs carrying her fat body,lol I remember when we realised she was eating the cats food as well as her own.she went on weight watchers for dogs :)
she had a good life,I will never forget her.mum and dad are pretty upset too.they say flossy,our cat misses her.they were friends.flossy would rub herself on bonnie ( when cats do this they are saying hello,marking you with their scent saying your mine lol) purr and often sleep in the same bed.
I'm still experiencing culture shock.it comes in waves.Im getting better at handling it,just reminding myself its totally normal,it should get better.
Im worried next week will be PMDD time.
Monday, 15 October 2012
3 weeks in Korea
Yep,it's been 3 weeks seems like I've been here a while I can't work out wether it's a good or bad thing.
I'm pleased that I'm now using the bus system,everything is in hangul so I'm trying to learn.my retarded dislexc brain is working against me I keep getting mixed up with letters.it all looks the same!
My kids are a real mix bag,some I really dislike.spoilt rich kids who only come to class so their parents will buy them a new iPad or whatever,they do the bare minimum with a smug look of distain.
I give them super boring homework,such as copy out key expressions three times haha.If they don't do it, I have the power to contact their parents.say goodbye to your new Mac...irritating little shits.
Some I just love.I have some one on one classes they are so cute and work very hard.
One girl Her English name Annie.I asked her what she would do if she could live forever.She said she wouldn't want to because life was boring.Shes 11! like most kids she gets up at 7am,goes to school,then language academy,homework and learning a instrument.then the day starts again.these kids are machines.
I told her if she goes to university in a western country she will experience a different way of living,life can be what you make it.She wants to be a doctor.i hope she decides to live abroad.
So the weekend was interesting.i went to purple haze with a Korean friend,chatted with the bar staff and met a French couple who are studying at Ulsan university.I had to laugh at Korean guys dancing :D they really go for it,arms n legs everywhere,they look as though they belong dancing in cages in gay clubs hahaha
Sat was actually pretty awesome.went on a scavenger hunt.we had to run round Ulsan finding items on the list take pics such as weird sentences in English,socks with sandles,ajimas (old ladies) with visors and matching outfits power walking.
Couple clothing.couples here literally dress the same so they can show the world how together they are lol.
When we took the picture,this guy Ben was holding our team number the girl said "oh very handsome" in front of her boyfriend! Guess those matching jumpers don't mean much huh lol.
in the evening, I met up with Matt,the American I met at the festival where I was ditched.
Had a lovely date,went to a Italian restaurant chatted about family,Korea,life etc.weird thing is he dated a girl who is from my home town and studied at the same uni as me.how unusual that I would find that connection half way across the world!
Hes a big film fan,got good taste in music,he studied science at uni,I like that,it's actually quite sexy.
went to a bar after,cima where I met his friends,funny guys mostly from the states.Went back to his after,talked and had sex. Yes! Finally I like a guy enough to fuck.( btw I don't see this as a slutty thing to do.I don't play games.I don't find guys that I actually like often,when I do,we've agreed to date, whats the point in withholding something that is going to happen anyway? Some women say "make him work for it"..really? where does it end? withhold sex till he buys something expensive? or stops hanging out with that friend you don't like?.sex is a expression of lust,love all that good stuff,using it for manipulative purposes makes no sense to me)
I think he was surprised at how long I gave him head for,think it was for about 30 mins.Its my favourite thing to do,just adore it and its been soooo long.I told him this.he wasn't bothered,just surprised.I'm wondering when I should bring up my other kinks.ill wait to see how things go. hes leaving in 3 months so I don't know what's going to happen,just enjoying the moment I suppose.id rather date him then not through fear of what happens next.
Sunday morning,he watched baseball.I don't know anything out it,seen as he's so into it I gave it a watch. It's actually quite interesting,I don't like it as much as football. I'm still learning all the ins and outs of it,the different ways of pitching,what the positions are called etc.once I know it all properly ill make up my mind if I like it enough to watch on a regular basis.
We then watched field of dreams ( the baseball film,I thought he'd like it) and South Park episodes.
this is actually a good Sunday for me,lazing in bed watching TV,talking cooking if I can.
I'm seeing him again this sat.might take him out this time if he lets me.he seems to be very polite,holding doors open etc.I actually like that he orders for me too.In that we will discuss what We want,and he will tell the waiter.Its such a stupid thing to like but I do.
so I don't know if he will allow me to take him out,but if he does I fancy Thai and a good bottle of wine.
so things seem to be getting better,but Im not ready to start feeling comfortable yet,my job is still all over the place and I'm still getting used to Korea,it's such a different culture I don't think ill ever be used to it but I can accept the differences and try my best for the time I'm here.
I'm pleased that I'm now using the bus system,everything is in hangul so I'm trying to learn.my retarded dislexc brain is working against me I keep getting mixed up with letters.it all looks the same!
My kids are a real mix bag,some I really dislike.spoilt rich kids who only come to class so their parents will buy them a new iPad or whatever,they do the bare minimum with a smug look of distain.
I give them super boring homework,such as copy out key expressions three times haha.If they don't do it, I have the power to contact their parents.say goodbye to your new Mac...irritating little shits.
Some I just love.I have some one on one classes they are so cute and work very hard.
One girl Her English name Annie.I asked her what she would do if she could live forever.She said she wouldn't want to because life was boring.Shes 11! like most kids she gets up at 7am,goes to school,then language academy,homework and learning a instrument.then the day starts again.these kids are machines.
I told her if she goes to university in a western country she will experience a different way of living,life can be what you make it.She wants to be a doctor.i hope she decides to live abroad.
So the weekend was interesting.i went to purple haze with a Korean friend,chatted with the bar staff and met a French couple who are studying at Ulsan university.I had to laugh at Korean guys dancing :D they really go for it,arms n legs everywhere,they look as though they belong dancing in cages in gay clubs hahaha
Sat was actually pretty awesome.went on a scavenger hunt.we had to run round Ulsan finding items on the list take pics such as weird sentences in English,socks with sandles,ajimas (old ladies) with visors and matching outfits power walking.
Couple clothing.couples here literally dress the same so they can show the world how together they are lol.
When we took the picture,this guy Ben was holding our team number the girl said "oh very handsome" in front of her boyfriend! Guess those matching jumpers don't mean much huh lol.
in the evening, I met up with Matt,the American I met at the festival where I was ditched.
Had a lovely date,went to a Italian restaurant chatted about family,Korea,life etc.weird thing is he dated a girl who is from my home town and studied at the same uni as me.how unusual that I would find that connection half way across the world!
Hes a big film fan,got good taste in music,he studied science at uni,I like that,it's actually quite sexy.
went to a bar after,cima where I met his friends,funny guys mostly from the states.Went back to his after,talked and had sex. Yes! Finally I like a guy enough to fuck.( btw I don't see this as a slutty thing to do.I don't play games.I don't find guys that I actually like often,when I do,we've agreed to date, whats the point in withholding something that is going to happen anyway? Some women say "make him work for it"..really? where does it end? withhold sex till he buys something expensive? or stops hanging out with that friend you don't like?.sex is a expression of lust,love all that good stuff,using it for manipulative purposes makes no sense to me)
I think he was surprised at how long I gave him head for,think it was for about 30 mins.Its my favourite thing to do,just adore it and its been soooo long.I told him this.he wasn't bothered,just surprised.I'm wondering when I should bring up my other kinks.ill wait to see how things go. hes leaving in 3 months so I don't know what's going to happen,just enjoying the moment I suppose.id rather date him then not through fear of what happens next.
Sunday morning,he watched baseball.I don't know anything out it,seen as he's so into it I gave it a watch. It's actually quite interesting,I don't like it as much as football. I'm still learning all the ins and outs of it,the different ways of pitching,what the positions are called etc.once I know it all properly ill make up my mind if I like it enough to watch on a regular basis.
We then watched field of dreams ( the baseball film,I thought he'd like it) and South Park episodes.
this is actually a good Sunday for me,lazing in bed watching TV,talking cooking if I can.
I'm seeing him again this sat.might take him out this time if he lets me.he seems to be very polite,holding doors open etc.I actually like that he orders for me too.In that we will discuss what We want,and he will tell the waiter.Its such a stupid thing to like but I do.
so I don't know if he will allow me to take him out,but if he does I fancy Thai and a good bottle of wine.
so things seem to be getting better,but Im not ready to start feeling comfortable yet,my job is still all over the place and I'm still getting used to Korea,it's such a different culture I don't think ill ever be used to it but I can accept the differences and try my best for the time I'm here.
Thursday, 11 October 2012
Gangnam style
That friggin song is everywhere here.that guy as whored himself out,he's advertising everything,I kid you not,I saw him on a washing up liquid add!
he is a legit artist over here,im watching his live performance on korean tv.I initially watched him so I could laugh,but for some reason, I find him awkwardly hypnotic. he's like that pissed up relation at a wedding. embarrassing the family with his attempt to look cool on the dance floor,end up looking like a sweaty midlife crisis.
today I got stared at loads,or maybe I just noticed it more.
All the foreigners here get stated at.Its interesting,makes me realise beyond any doubt that I wouldn't want to be famous.
tomorrow I have this meal with my Korean co workers.I really don't like getting overly friendly with people from work.ive never been one to go to work functions beyond the Christmas party a few drinks after work here and there.So this is going to be weird for me.its part of Korean custom to go to every work thing,so I'm going along with it.
To look at it on the plus side,ill maybe feel more a part of the school,and get to try some new food. Tomorrow night I fancy going for a few drinks at a bar called purple haze.after my long long day I need something to unwind.
he is a legit artist over here,im watching his live performance on korean tv.I initially watched him so I could laugh,but for some reason, I find him awkwardly hypnotic. he's like that pissed up relation at a wedding. embarrassing the family with his attempt to look cool on the dance floor,end up looking like a sweaty midlife crisis.
today I got stared at loads,or maybe I just noticed it more.
All the foreigners here get stated at.Its interesting,makes me realise beyond any doubt that I wouldn't want to be famous.
tomorrow I have this meal with my Korean co workers.I really don't like getting overly friendly with people from work.ive never been one to go to work functions beyond the Christmas party a few drinks after work here and there.So this is going to be weird for me.its part of Korean custom to go to every work thing,so I'm going along with it.
To look at it on the plus side,ill maybe feel more a part of the school,and get to try some new food. Tomorrow night I fancy going for a few drinks at a bar called purple haze.after my long long day I need something to unwind.
Wednesday, 10 October 2012
Sticker fun on tube
Keeping up to date with British news while I'm here,I saw this.Someone is replacing stickers on the tube in London with awesomeness
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-19858746
"No eye contact. Penalty £200."
"We apologise for any incontinence caused during these engineering works."
"Peak hours may necessitate you let other people sit on your lap."
So very funny.I needed a laugh today.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-19858746
"No eye contact. Penalty £200."
"We apologise for any incontinence caused during these engineering works."
"Peak hours may necessitate you let other people sit on your lap."
So very funny.I needed a laugh today.
Sunday, 7 October 2012
Ulsan festival
The festival itself was ace.however I went with a girl from the UK n her friends.ive hung out with her twice before so I thought we were sorta becoming friends as she's invited me to 2 nights out.
Anyway,at the festival things seemed to be ok,I still felt out of place as these guys been friends for a year.the guys went off to get some food,she went to the toilet with another friend,I was sat on my own after 15 mins I knew she wasn't coming back.
Fucking bitch.she could have just told me to go home I'd have had more respect for her.i felt like I did in school when I was being bullied.Left alone my first week in a new city and country at a festival.I pondered what to do for a few mins I thought fuck it ill stay.got myself a beer n sat down.
A guy called matt started talking to me,we had quite a bit in common wet to a bar after then back to his,we agreed to go on a date this weekend wether or not it will happen is another thing.
Anyway,at the festival things seemed to be ok,I still felt out of place as these guys been friends for a year.the guys went off to get some food,she went to the toilet with another friend,I was sat on my own after 15 mins I knew she wasn't coming back.
Fucking bitch.she could have just told me to go home I'd have had more respect for her.i felt like I did in school when I was being bullied.Left alone my first week in a new city and country at a festival.I pondered what to do for a few mins I thought fuck it ill stay.got myself a beer n sat down.
A guy called matt started talking to me,we had quite a bit in common wet to a bar after then back to his,we agreed to go on a date this weekend wether or not it will happen is another thing.
Saturday, 29 September 2012
culture shock - stage 2
Ok,day 3 having looked into transferring jobs in korea it seems really complex.basically im stuck.I thought Ulsan would be bigger but it's really quite small.i should have gone to Seoul.
I went out last night with two Irish girls who live down the road.they were great and for that short time I felt normal.
I am going for a drink tonight with my next door neighbour who's British,Monday I'm going to look round the city with a girl I met from Manchester.So I'm meeting people that's good.
I still have feelings of what the fuck have I done? I'm basically doing 10 hour days with a 20 min break,this is not what I agreed to,but as the other foreigner teacher pointed out,the contract is ambiguous and can be bent changed to what they want,contracts don't mean much in Korea.
I have skipped stage 1 - romantic view of Korea,as I have been here before I'm straight into stage 2- depression,anxiety,confusion,lack of confidence it's horrible.one day at a time.im doing this so I can train for a career I want must keep that in mind.everything passes I worked out I just need to do 4 or 5 months and ill have tuition fees then I can go home.
in the mean time I'm trying my best to learn and grow from this.
I went out last night with two Irish girls who live down the road.they were great and for that short time I felt normal.
I am going for a drink tonight with my next door neighbour who's British,Monday I'm going to look round the city with a girl I met from Manchester.So I'm meeting people that's good.
I still have feelings of what the fuck have I done? I'm basically doing 10 hour days with a 20 min break,this is not what I agreed to,but as the other foreigner teacher pointed out,the contract is ambiguous and can be bent changed to what they want,contracts don't mean much in Korea.
I have skipped stage 1 - romantic view of Korea,as I have been here before I'm straight into stage 2- depression,anxiety,confusion,lack of confidence it's horrible.one day at a time.im doing this so I can train for a career I want must keep that in mind.everything passes I worked out I just need to do 4 or 5 months and ill have tuition fees then I can go home.
in the mean time I'm trying my best to learn and grow from this.
Friday, 28 September 2012
First night in Korea
Leaving was emotional. Still horrible thinking i wont see my family friends for a year.i wont think about it,its not constructive.
I'm in bed in my new flat in Ulsan which is actually quite big.once I've got it sorted ill take pics or make a video on my iPhone.
Feel like a Barclay card add,I'm too tired to write anything properly.
Travel from Hobbit ville ( mum and dad live literally in the middle of nowhere) 2 hours
Manchester to Dubai -8 hours
wait in Dubai 3 hours- thankfully I met this British guy in a Que. we ended up chatting totally killed the 3 hours.
think we both needed to talk having had 8 hours of science.I do not cope well with not having the opportunity to talk he was the same way haha..must be a English thing.
His name is Matt,plays piano,is a music teacher,lived in london ,graduated from Leeds college of music ( one of the best music schools in the country) so we had lots to chat about.interesting guy.
We swapped details so ill drop a friendly email when I get the net.
Could end up being a friend Some of my best friends I've met in similar situations.
Lina being one of them,we met when she came to view a room in a house I was renting.the and lord was a cock,basically my credit card was nicked maxed out while I was on holiday,he moved this dodgy guy in,this dude broke into my room n stole my credit card...anyway I took Lina into my room told her not to move in under any circumstances.
she saw my shoe collection we bonded lol.
Back to Matt,He's in Singapore teaching music,plans on going to the states or Australia next year.travel buddy ? Maybe you never know.
Dubai to Seoul 8 hours. So very tired.this weird middle eastern guy kept staring at me.I started to wonder if by some weird fluke he'd seen me on a calendar or something.highly unlikely he was prob your bog standard creep.
first day tomorrow,I'm being picked up taken to the school.
I don't know if I'm teaching.I asked the agency,they were un sure.Im glad ive done this before I'd be fretting if not.
The apartment is furnished, so I've put the tv on for some noise so I don't feel so alone.theres a few channels with English shows,I think for the engineers,army,teachers that are here.
I did purchase a subscription to British and few American channels online such as Adult Swim.no adds,fast streaming - jobs a good un.wont be able to make use of it till I get my Internet sorted.
It's sad,I need my fix of BBC documentaries,channel 4 comedy and of course the best cartoons..I can't be the only person who watches the human planet,or walking with dinosaurs followed by metalopcypse or American dad ? Lol
Sleep for me now.
I'm in bed in my new flat in Ulsan which is actually quite big.once I've got it sorted ill take pics or make a video on my iPhone.
Feel like a Barclay card add,I'm too tired to write anything properly.
Travel from Hobbit ville ( mum and dad live literally in the middle of nowhere) 2 hours
Manchester to Dubai -8 hours
wait in Dubai 3 hours- thankfully I met this British guy in a Que. we ended up chatting totally killed the 3 hours.
think we both needed to talk having had 8 hours of science.I do not cope well with not having the opportunity to talk he was the same way haha..must be a English thing.
His name is Matt,plays piano,is a music teacher,lived in london ,graduated from Leeds college of music ( one of the best music schools in the country) so we had lots to chat about.interesting guy.
We swapped details so ill drop a friendly email when I get the net.
Could end up being a friend Some of my best friends I've met in similar situations.
Lina being one of them,we met when she came to view a room in a house I was renting.the and lord was a cock,basically my credit card was nicked maxed out while I was on holiday,he moved this dodgy guy in,this dude broke into my room n stole my credit card...anyway I took Lina into my room told her not to move in under any circumstances.
she saw my shoe collection we bonded lol.
Back to Matt,He's in Singapore teaching music,plans on going to the states or Australia next year.travel buddy ? Maybe you never know.
Dubai to Seoul 8 hours. So very tired.this weird middle eastern guy kept staring at me.I started to wonder if by some weird fluke he'd seen me on a calendar or something.highly unlikely he was prob your bog standard creep.
first day tomorrow,I'm being picked up taken to the school.
I don't know if I'm teaching.I asked the agency,they were un sure.Im glad ive done this before I'd be fretting if not.
The apartment is furnished, so I've put the tv on for some noise so I don't feel so alone.theres a few channels with English shows,I think for the engineers,army,teachers that are here.
I did purchase a subscription to British and few American channels online such as Adult Swim.no adds,fast streaming - jobs a good un.wont be able to make use of it till I get my Internet sorted.
It's sad,I need my fix of BBC documentaries,channel 4 comedy and of course the best cartoons..I can't be the only person who watches the human planet,or walking with dinosaurs followed by metalopcypse or American dad ? Lol
Sleep for me now.
First day
As I expected it was crazy,i enjoyed teaching,but I am worried
I woke up this morning and saw the true state of my apartment. The girl must have been a smoker.
The contract said 2pm - 8pm with a hour break
Actual hours are 2pm- 10pm with 20 min break, 10 mins between lessons which is spent doing a lesson check.
I was told I could choose my holiday time,I can't and I only have 6 days holiday a year!! The rest is taken up wit h Korean holidays of with there are 10 per year.that makes up my total of 16 days a year as stated in my contract.3 I have to take in winter and 3 in summer.
There is no Internet in my apartment,the director said the owner lives on the fourth floor would sort it.i went to the fourth floor,no one was there.i don't know what to do,as before Internet was provided.ill email Sally the recruiter ,try the guy on the fourth floor.he might be in this time.
The other forgiven teacher is leaving after 3 months.I asked why she just said she didn't like it.a new teacher is coming here in 2 weeks.a British guy I hope he's decent.
I asked the director why I'm working till 10,she told me those were the hours and I should be flexible.
I complained to the recruitment agent sally about the apartment.she told me they were cleaning the one across the hall I would move in a week.I don't believe her,I asked why wasn't this done prior to my arrival,she said they didn't know the state of my apartment till a few hours before I came.I get the feeling I won't be moving.
They gave me info that they would be taking 300,000 won £180 for 3 months out of my contract and I would get it back in 6 months! Why? they didn't give me a answer,they just said I would get it back with interest.I then had to teach couldn't take the matter up any further.
If this is the way they treat people I don't know how the girl pervious to me stayed two years,which is the main reason I took the job,I felt after our long conversation it would be a reputable place to work,why would someone stay 2 years if it wasn't?
Today I'm going to have my health check,hopefully open up a bank account and email a different recruiter to see if I can find another job,ill also post on some message boards as back ups.i really do want to give this job my all but all this screams terrible place to work.
two hours extra really I'm not happy about that plus everything else :s
Ill also try a foreigner bar.then it's 4 days off as its their holiday,ill go to Seoul I think to see a Korean friend I met before and a friend of Chris from home who has just moved there.
I'm hoping this is all something I can sort out with my employer.
I woke up this morning and saw the true state of my apartment. The girl must have been a smoker.
The contract said 2pm - 8pm with a hour break
Actual hours are 2pm- 10pm with 20 min break, 10 mins between lessons which is spent doing a lesson check.
I was told I could choose my holiday time,I can't and I only have 6 days holiday a year!! The rest is taken up wit h Korean holidays of with there are 10 per year.that makes up my total of 16 days a year as stated in my contract.3 I have to take in winter and 3 in summer.
There is no Internet in my apartment,the director said the owner lives on the fourth floor would sort it.i went to the fourth floor,no one was there.i don't know what to do,as before Internet was provided.ill email Sally the recruiter ,try the guy on the fourth floor.he might be in this time.
The other forgiven teacher is leaving after 3 months.I asked why she just said she didn't like it.a new teacher is coming here in 2 weeks.a British guy I hope he's decent.
I asked the director why I'm working till 10,she told me those were the hours and I should be flexible.
I complained to the recruitment agent sally about the apartment.she told me they were cleaning the one across the hall I would move in a week.I don't believe her,I asked why wasn't this done prior to my arrival,she said they didn't know the state of my apartment till a few hours before I came.I get the feeling I won't be moving.
They gave me info that they would be taking 300,000 won £180 for 3 months out of my contract and I would get it back in 6 months! Why? they didn't give me a answer,they just said I would get it back with interest.I then had to teach couldn't take the matter up any further.
If this is the way they treat people I don't know how the girl pervious to me stayed two years,which is the main reason I took the job,I felt after our long conversation it would be a reputable place to work,why would someone stay 2 years if it wasn't?
Today I'm going to have my health check,hopefully open up a bank account and email a different recruiter to see if I can find another job,ill also post on some message boards as back ups.i really do want to give this job my all but all this screams terrible place to work.
two hours extra really I'm not happy about that plus everything else :s
Ill also try a foreigner bar.then it's 4 days off as its their holiday,ill go to Seoul I think to see a Korean friend I met before and a friend of Chris from home who has just moved there.
I'm hoping this is all something I can sort out with my employer.
Sunday, 23 September 2012
Kid Archetect
I'm sat in my room packing, I have the most tacky luggage, why do I own a luggage set that looks like it belongs to a stripper? I'm willing to sacrifice style for the ability to quickly locate my luggage. slightly embarrassing if it ever goes missing ' er...yeah its a medium size suitcase matching carry on in ...in erm zebra print lol
im taking a break from packing,waiting for my apple crumble to bake and listening to Kid Architect.
i hear some of my favorite bands yet they are still unique.their album really is a journey,produced perfectly, the guys voice fits the style it melds together
I found them through looking at a friends photo album on Facebook. I saw this guy who had in my mind a remarkable resemblance to Russell brand, how weird,without even thinking I clicked his profile,saw he was in a band with a cool name had a listen. instantly thought ill buy that.
I downloaded the album got talking to mike and Clint,totally awesome guys who of course have the best taste in music. If I ever do go to DC ill wanna see them play. that bar looks pretty cool too.
im taking a break from packing,waiting for my apple crumble to bake and listening to Kid Architect.
i hear some of my favorite bands yet they are still unique.their album really is a journey,produced perfectly, the guys voice fits the style it melds together
I found them through looking at a friends photo album on Facebook. I saw this guy who had in my mind a remarkable resemblance to Russell brand, how weird,without even thinking I clicked his profile,saw he was in a band with a cool name had a listen. instantly thought ill buy that.
I downloaded the album got talking to mike and Clint,totally awesome guys who of course have the best taste in music. If I ever do go to DC ill wanna see them play. that bar looks pretty cool too.
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