Thursday 17 May 2012

Being celibate - is it possible?

I've had enough. Men recently only seem to want me for one thing.

Over the past two years I've dated 3 men. The most recent Lazlo,he's from hungary but moved to the uk when he was a child.

We dated during that time we talked about pretty much everything,what we wanted from a relationship.his past experiences,family life future.so I was pretty confident he was genuine.

Then we had sex,the next day he left then I get a text saying " sex was amasing etc"
Confused I said wtf are you just looking for sex?
He said he wasnt sure?!? I told him where to go.

I was/still am upset about this.that these guys lie to get what they want and assume I will have justsex with them even though I want a relationship they knew this from the start.makes me. Feel worthless,like my personality means nothing.
to them,i feel I'm just a pretty size 8 woman who's good in bed to be used till they have had enough and get a real girlfriend.
I've worked hard to become the person I am,ive challenged myself on many levels,re built myself,over come things most people never have to deal with.faced demons.i know who I am,what my morals are I I am stronger then most people realise, just because I have a kind,giving personality doesnt mean Im someone to walk over or a easy target.
equally because I'm open minded when it comes to sex doesn't mean Im not marraige or gf material,that i am less of a person,or to be used as some sort of sexual experimentation till they find a boring girl and have missionary once a blue moon if she feels like it.

So to un complicate my life, I'm thinking of becoming celibate, well at least till i meet the guy that I fall for.
I'm an atheist,not doing it to save my soul it's just what I need to do I think,to reset the shit heads and restore my faith in men.

It will be very difficult but if it saves me this pain it's worth it

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