Dont Call Me Stupid

I discovered I was dyslexic my second year of university. up until this point I had always thought I was just a little slow, absent minded and well stupid.

I remember re reading the tenth draft of a 3000 word essay with a friend in the university library and breaking in to tears. I must point out Im not normally a public cryer, I prefer to keep my tears private or reserved for someone I connect with trust, so the stress at the time was pretty intense.

Anyway, I couldn't understand why after all my efforts the essay didn't look the way it did in my head.The content was spot on, it was the structure, spelling and grammar that made it read as though it had been written by a pissed stoner.
I began to feel my teachers and bullies were right, I wasn't intelligent enough.I should leave and save myself further shame and embarrassment.
I thought wouldn't it be great if understanding could be extracted. like the lecturers would be BFG type characters, the eve of deadline they come out in force,taking memories bottling them ready for grading. ha..

moving on it was after this essay struggle, just one example of how dyslexia effects and talking to a girl with dyslexia I finally got tested.
Until I watched the posted documentary I forgot how naked I felt during the screening process, I think she describes it in a similar way to me, everything you tried so hard to hide,developed coping mechanisms for and dont like about yourself is exposed.
Like kara, and I suspect many with dyslexia , I have problems reading, writing, short term memory issues, problems with recalling information, organisation and the results showed I have problems following directions as well as map reading.

Kara states she wants to know where her dyslexia ends and her personality begins. having watched it we have lots in common, but I think my dyislexica is a part of me, there for part of my personality. Even though I am and always will be absent minded, disorganised, and random I have accepted this as part of who I am.

I also need to work past getting upset when people call me stupid for these reasons, that will come with time and reminding myself there is nothing wrong with me its just my brain works in a different way.