Fuck you 2012

I'm having a little bit of a cry as I write this. I'm glad this year is over.I can honestly say it's been one of the most challenging of my life.

The worst parts in no order
Not having a job/having one that was soul sucking
Having to cut my sister off due to her damaging influence
Seeing the effect my sisters behaviour had on my family.
My best friend moving to London
A housemate moving in that was such a control freak my friends didn't want to visit plus was so filthy he attracted mice into the house.
Having a panic attack due to stress,the doctor telling me I was too sick to work.
Having Pre cancer cells in my civix removed -again
Finding out I have PMDD
my auntie dying- horrific
My friend dying- total shock and horrific
My dog dying- bonnie a member of our family for 16 years she will be missed
Moving to korea ( the stress of culture shock and to be honest the fear of arriving,leaving my friends and family)
being used by guys
My ex matt cutting me off while I was in korea.
When paul died and it was his birthday in november.i contacted people who have been there for me at a time when i needed someone.I sent him a email basically saying that.I received one back saying he realises he still loves me and can no longer have me in his life, even as a friend.told me never to contact him again. ( a horrible thing for both of us. as I thought we were great friends,we have a bond that I thought was a true friendship.Now it's no longer there.I feel guilty because I hurt him even though it wasn't intentional.now I feel like he's died too.dramatic I suppose but as I can't talk to him our our mutual friends its a great loss to me as well as him)
Turning 28 and feeling like a looser as I don't have a relationship,house of my own etc
Missing my friends and family while living abroad and feeling lonely.
Overall a general feeling of depression lack of security and loss.

In the spirit of looking forwards.

Highlights
Passing my counselling course,knowing I now have what I need for a masters in counselling.
moving to korea-I needed to make money for my future that's exactly what I'm doing.
meeting a bunch of great people
Realising how lucky I am to have people in my life that are special.
Starting life coaching and knowing I am just a little closer to my goals.
New Year's Eve on the beach watching the first sunrise in korea whilst witnessing hundreds of Koreans running towards the freezing sea swimming to greet the rising sun.
Realising that I am a fighter,if I keep fighting then one day I might just win,if I don't I know I've given it my all,fuck anyone who looks down on me for that,or not having material possessions/ a conventional life.

I hope that 2013 brings something different,after all I will do everything in my power to ensure this happens

So fuck you 2012 you did your worst and I'm still standing.to quote gone with the wind ( a amazing film) "tomorrow is another day"