It's been a while

I've been putting off writing because it makes this real

First I stayed in my job as the other job the apartment was a crack den,I'm not joking it didn't even have a bed,I cought up with the other teacher who ran away he said he was there 6 months it never changed.

My job got better but then I got sick.ihad the nitoviris - I managed to get Into work but was sent to hospital by my boss. 2 days off with a sick note

Then I got a bacterial infection.my boss had a meeting where she wants to get rid of me because I'm too sick.an ex Korean staff member told me I was pretty livid.
In 6 months I've had 7 days off through genuine doctor confirmed sickness.
I received a text from my co worker telling me to get into work my boss was going to come to my apartment n let me go basically fire me.

I'm really not sure on what to do here if I get another job that's 2 months which leaves 4 left before contract is up.

Apart from that life in korea is well korea.crazy but im still glad im not in the uk the economy is worse lost the credit rating and jobs are difficult to come by.
im missing my mum,dad friends from home and food god I want a pasty lol.its hard sometimes ESP when I hear my sister is making things hard for them again I just want to tell her to sort her life out.I feel powerless I know if I was at home there would be nothing I could do but still.

I met a guy from England he was interesting we dated both liked each other but he wouldn't sleep with me just wanted to hug with a hard on.thats ok I was understanding but after a while I felt rejected. he wouldn't tell me why just he wasn't ready.i asked if there was anything i could do he said he just wasnt sexual,so I decided to let him go.I won't lie it is slightly damaging to my self esteem as in what's wrong with me?.I can sympathise when you hear stories of men cheating through lack of intamacy.still not right, but being laid there all horny feeling mentally and physically attracted after quite a few great dates n the person says no without a explanation is just confusing and makes you question what is wrong with you.

I've been drinking less which is good,I now feel like I'm in control towards the end of the night n i wont be hungover.

I've met some new friends which is always good, I've been talking more to my friend matt remember who I met at the airport when I was coming here? He's off to New Zealand in 4 months wondering if I should go.i just feel so stressed here now and bit weird.maybe this is that 6 month block people talk about we shall see.

PMDD wise I get so horny before my period I've started watching porn once a day around this time. I sort of feel I wish I didn't makes me feel lonely maybe that's the weird pmdd depression over analysing there I'm not sure.

I've been monitoring the feelings n symptoms,basically the more emotional symptoms I get the depression insecurity the more my sex drive increases,the more physical symptoms I get eg the pain n vomiting the less Horny and depressed I feel.Dont get me wrong, i still feel depressed its just not as intense as in i dont start crying at the drop of a jat seems to be taken over by physical symptoms.
So it's mainly physical or emotional.

I've started wearing glasses most of the time now.had to get new ones n I don't like how they look on me.how vain huh.the glased here are done while you wait on the same day which is amasing.had my eye test then in 30 mins new glasses.

It's getting warmer in korea I'm looking forward to that I can't wait for the summer I like the heat and ill be able to go to the beach

I've started eating and enjoying more Korean food which is good.still can't eat kimchi or octopus.they eat octopus that is alive here too that upsets me.the tentacles stick to the cheeks and tonsils.

Oh totally random but I think my Korean friend who is male-English name jay has a hand fetish he tells me how much he loves my hands and strokes them.i don't mind. having fetishes of my own l,I understand so I let him look at them for a bit.if it gets bad like he tries to suck my fingers or something them ill do something.lol it's funny really makes me laugh.

Other things that have made me smilr on you tube n such the Harlem shake funny and so silly so much better then gangnam style which I'm happy to say is dying finally!