I cant still have feelings for him,surely not!?

I never thought id say this but I think I may have feelings for my ex boyfriend Matt.We were friends first then stayed together for three years.
The reason for the break up,I dumped him we were going in opposite directions,he didnt seem to see things from my point of view,plus his values changed,towards the end of our relationship, we had a heated discussion in which he came out with his views on success "money and power" was his response.We talked about it, then if im honest it was the deciding factor for me to finish things.

Fast forward three years we become friends again. He seems to have grown up alot, he appologised for his behaviour towards me, he actually cried! for Matt thats massive. in three years I only saw him cry once.So weve been keeping in contact,the spark is still there, we have a great chemistry and friendship.Which is great I thought, I was pleased to have a friend back in my life with so much shared history.

i've been on a few dates recently and i've found myself comparing them to him! this is most definatly not the norm for me. If im on a date that guy he is my focus, but now im sat there and he crosses my mind, I find myself thinking, Matt would find that funny,or your bullshitting me,with him I always know where I stand.this one guy I actually told him about matt, even as I was talking I thought why am I doing this,I stopped myself and changed the subject.
I broke up with matt years ago,have been in love since.I was most definitely over it. so Why am I comparing? I might just miss the good times, or miss him as a friend.I suppose I miss him,and the thing that made our relationship different,not finding it or something equal in these guys makes me think about what we had and still have in our friendship. the banter,the shared humor,the way we complement each other, his weirdness,the sense of ease I feel around him

Ill figure it out at some point I suppose this doesnt really mean much, ill be leaving soon to teach in korea for a year. I'll just have to take something positive from it, I know what I want something equal to what we had,and I will always have his friendship which might be all im missing anyway.