Life and music

It's been a tough few months.

Paul,my friend since school tragically passed away.

I'm getting upset just thinking about it.He was the most caring,funny,down to earth honest guy I've ever had the privilege of knowing,I was lucky enough to have him as a friend.

He was there for me at the some of lowest points in my life,his kindness made me feel less alone,always put a smile on my face.I never told him what his friendship meant to me,I hope on some level he knew.

He basically had to much to drink at a christening,started being sick in the taxi,was taken to hospital and died.He was 27.
a autopsy was done ,but the exact cause was unknown. drink was a massive part of his passing.

It still seems like one of those stories you read about,you never think it will happen to someone you know.

I miss him

My auntie,who has been struggling with terminal cancer for a year passed away a couple of days ago.

She was in her 50's.I always looked up to my auntie Naomi, she ran a hotel in Scotland that she started from scratch, was a amazing cook.her hotel wad awarded 4 * with her cooking,at the same time brought up 3 children.

despite the terrible events of her life,her husband leaving her, my cousin tragically deciding to end his life,which started her drinking she eventually came off the alcohol,became a grandmother and always had time for her family.

We used to go upto her hotel at new year,shed make a big fuss,have a bag pipe player,give us rooms, really made us feel special,despite having a hotel full of guests.( my family is huge,granny had 14 children,there were about 13 of us in total who used to go up)

Unfortunately she had stopped drinking too late,the fact she smoked didn't help this was a major contributing factor when she was diagnosed.

She wasn't in much pain when she passed,she said she wasn't scared and was ready.Brave right to the end.

These recent events make me think of when my granny passed away two years ago,how I will miss all of them.

I know they will live on in my life,and the life's of those they touched.

This poem is beautiful

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.


All we really have is the present,the past and the future don't really exsist,while Its healthy to view the past learn from mistakes,good to make plans for the future,shouldn't let that effect the present.

Saying things like " I'll be happy when I have x" isn't constructive

But anyway,all this has left me feeling lonely and detached im trying to live in the present. I use something I'm passionate about to try feel connected.mostly I use travel,photography,art and music.
Music is the most accessible and most effective.throughout my life I have loved music, certain bands and songs have a special place in my heart. Some are the cure, zeppelin, Oasis,blur,Nirvana

A friend told me to listen to these bands

Choir of young believers- no,not a cult Tom cruise would be part of,which were my first thoughts,ha. A totally ace band

Active child

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-OoisekXIA&feature=youtube_gdata_player